Personal Life Update: Why I’ve Been MIA Lately

You may have noticed (or maybe not) that I haven’t really posted anything on my blog or Instagram in a while (I just recently started posting again on Instagram). Well, I don’t want to go too into it since this isn’t a personal blog about my life, but a very close friend of mine recently passed, and reviewing makeup products or talking about makeup/beauty in general just seems so trivial in the grand scheme of things.

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I’ve known Julio for five years, but we became really close the year after we initially met (freshman year of college) and moved into the same apartment complex. Our personalities are very different, yet similar at the same time. Julio is an extravert for the most part, while I’m an introvert. He can spark up a conversation with just about anyone, while it takes me a little while to really talk to anyone (unless they talk to me first). While we are also very different, we’re also very similar. Our humor can be crude at times, we love puns, and basically only speak in sarcasm. It got to the point where he and I would say the same exact thing at the same time, which would creep us out, but make us laugh at the same time. Our whole relationship was based on having fun, laughing, talking about conspiracy theories, eye rolling, going to this speakeasy type bar, flipping our long hair in peoples faces, talking about makeup, being sarcastic, Harry Potter, and making weird puns. He was one of the few people I continuously talked to throughout college. He was my “day one.”

The last time I saw Julio was on May 28, a couple days before he was heading back home to Austin before he left for his internship in Seattle. He was on the cusp of graduating, and since my university canceled summer graduation ceremonies he walked the stage just a couple weeks earlier, which is why I still can’t believe he’s no longer here. He was only 22 with his whole life ahead of him, and that’s what makes this an even sadder tragedy.

I learned he was missing on Friday June 5, which at first I thought was a joke. Then, I thought it was probably a misunderstanding. There’s no way Julio is missing. There’s just no way– it’s Julio. The events that led up to his untimely passing are still unknown, which is comforting and unsettling at the same time. Part of me believes ignorance is bliss and that not knowing what exactly happened to him is good for me mentally/emotionally, but the other part of me really wants to know what happened to him because I need the closure. What could have happened differently so this wasn’t the outcone? What could have saved him?

It still hasn’t sunk in that this is real. It still hasn’t sunk in that this guy I’ve known and loved for five years is no longer here. It still hasn’t sunk in that I’m no longer going to get ridiculous texts, selfie snaps, and random phone calls that last over an hour from him. It still hasn’t sunk in that I’ve lost someone who played a big role in my life.

On the day we were saying goodbye we went to our usual bar in Denton called Paschall’s, which has a speakeasy type vibe, and we sat there for a while talking about the future. It pains me that his was cut short when he had so much potential. When I dropped him off later that night, the song “See You Again” by Wiz Khalifa was playing, and we both were sad because we knew we wouldn’t see each other for at least the next 3 months. Now I realize that I will never see him again. It’s crazy how the world works.

So, it seems I did go “too into it,” but I thought I would give you guys a little life update as to why I haven’t been posting on here or my Instagram. The latter of which I generally post on every day. Although makeup and beauty seems so unimportant at the moment, I’ve worked really hard on this website and want to continue doing this since it really is a lot of fun for me. Plus, Julio and I would always talk about makeup and beauty so I’d like to continue writing about one of the things we bonded over.

I hope you lovelies are doing well! I’d love to hear about any happy/exciting things that have happened to you all in the past few weeks! Let me know down below :)

♥ ♥ ♥

  • DeidraK

    I ams so so sorry for your loss. There is nothing else to say besides how sorry I truly am that you had to experience that loss and that someone you cared about is not around anymore. I lost my long time boyfriend when I was 23-I had known and dated him since I was 19-he died in a car accident- so I speak from experience when I say it will never make sense, but you will heal. You won’t forget and you will still cry. But you will also smile one day remembering a particularly funny joke he shared with you or other special memories. The 4 year anniversary of my ex bfs death is coming up very soon and I still think about him everyday and probably will for the rest of my life. But i choose to see it as carrying his memory with me, not as anything negative. My advice is grieve and take your own time and do it in your own way-own your feelings and really feel them so that you can feel other things again eventually. I will be thinking about you and your friend. Once again my sincerest condolences. It is not easy to lose someone, let alone so suddenly.

    • Thank you so much! I’m very sorry for your loss. Losing your longtime boyfriend at such a young age could not have been easy. I sincerely hope you are doing okay and healing.
      It’s nice to know that even though someone may not physically be here, their memories will always last and that you can always think about them with a smile.

      Thank you again for your advice and condolences. It honestly means so much to me ♥♥

  • I’m so sorry for your loss – Julio sounded like a true friend. I can’t imagine losing someone so young, so tragically. Take care of yourself x

  • I am so sorry for your loss, I can only imagine how hard it must have been on you. I wish you all the courage and strength you need! Take care lovely.

    • Thanks love! It means a lot. It’s definitely been an adjustment, but I always say it’s better to have known him and lost him than to never have known him at all.