You may have noticed (or maybe not) that I haven’t really posted anything on my blog or Instagram in a while (I just recently started posting again on Instagram). Well, I don’t want to go too into it since this isn’t a personal blog about my life, but a very close friend of mine recently passed, and reviewing makeup products or talking about makeup/beauty in general just seems so trivial in the grand scheme of things.
I’ve known Julio for five years, but we became really close the year after we initially met (freshman year of college) and moved into the same apartment complex. Our personalities are very different, yet similar at the same time. Julio is an extravert for the most part, while I’m an introvert. He can spark up a conversation with just about anyone, while it takes me a little while to really talk to anyone (unless they talk to me first). While we are also very different, we’re also very similar. Our humor can be crude at times, we love puns, and basically only speak in sarcasm. It got to the point where he and I would say the same exact thing at the same time, which would creep us out, but make us laugh at the same time. Our whole relationship was based on having fun, laughing, talking about conspiracy theories, eye rolling, going to this speakeasy type bar, flipping our long hair in peoples faces, talking about makeup, being sarcastic, Harry Potter, and making weird puns. He was one of the few people I continuously talked to throughout college. He was my “day one.”
The last time I saw Julio was on May 28, a couple days before he was heading back home to Austin before he left for his internship in Seattle. He was on the cusp of graduating, and since my university canceled summer graduation ceremonies he walked the stage just a couple weeks earlier, which is why I still can’t believe he’s no longer here. He was only 22 with his whole life ahead of him, and that’s what makes this an even sadder tragedy.
I learned he was missing on Friday June 5, which at first I thought was a joke. Then, I thought it was probably a misunderstanding. There’s no way Julio is missing. There’s just no way– it’s Julio. The events that led up to his untimely passing are still unknown, which is comforting and unsettling at the same time. Part of me believes ignorance is bliss and that not knowing what exactly happened to him is good for me mentally/emotionally, but the other part of me really wants to know what happened to him because I need the closure. What could have happened differently so this wasn’t the outcone? What could have saved him?
It still hasn’t sunk in that this is real. It still hasn’t sunk in that this guy I’ve known and loved for five years is no longer here. It still hasn’t sunk in that I’m no longer going to get ridiculous texts, selfie snaps, and random phone calls that last over an hour from him. It still hasn’t sunk in that I’ve lost someone who played a big role in my life.
On the day we were saying goodbye we went to our usual bar in Denton called Paschall’s, which has a speakeasy type vibe, and we sat there for a while talking about the future. It pains me that his was cut short when he had so much potential. When I dropped him off later that night, the song “See You Again” by Wiz Khalifa was playing, and we both were sad because we knew we wouldn’t see each other for at least the next 3 months. Now I realize that I will never see him again. It’s crazy how the world works.
So, it seems I did go “too into it,” but I thought I would give you guys a little life update as to why I haven’t been posting on here or my Instagram. The latter of which I generally post on every day. Although makeup and beauty seems so unimportant at the moment, I’ve worked really hard on this website and want to continue doing this since it really is a lot of fun for me. Plus, Julio and I would always talk about makeup and beauty so I’d like to continue writing about one of the things we bonded over.
I hope you lovelies are doing well! I’d love to hear about any happy/exciting things that have happened to you all in the past few weeks! Let me know down below :)
♥ ♥ ♥